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Corona quarantine diary
投稿者: Mervyn Henderson

Chris S  Identity Verified
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Loose ends Dec 19, 2020

Matthias wrote:
Great stuff!

I used to work in a sex club on the Reeperbahn, before the operation.

No, not that kind of operation. I mean the police sting to clean the place up.

Put me right out of a job. Not much point in having a cleaner in a clean place.

So I grabbed my mop and my rubber gloves (and the whips and chains) and took the first ferry across to Sweden. And the rest, as they say, is historia.

Dan Lucas wrote:
Chris S wrote:
Just in from Irked of Eglwyswrw

He lives just up the road from me.

Oh no, Dan. No, no, no. You can't hijack that particular bandwagon. I so-like-totally own the improbable neighbours thing. And anyway, Irked lives just over the road here in a house share with Catherine Zeta Jones and Owain Glyndwr. (Not a single partially-deflated illuminated Santa outside that house. Miserable buggers are letting down the whole valley.)

But yeah, I did change it from Ysbyty Ystwyth to your part of the world as a deliberate trap to see if sensible people read these threads too...


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Chris S  Identity Verified
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Lockdown 3: The one where they cancelled Santa Dec 20, 2020

Yesterday the Welsh government decided to bring forward the post-Christmas lockdown and give everyone exactly an hour to do their Christmas shopping. I’m sure that squeezing the country’s entire population into TK Maxx in a mad dash for last-minute tat yesterday afternoon will help slow the spread.

It turns out London has hatched some kind of mutant ninja virus that is worse than the original one, and the Bastard English have already brought it here as they head to their second
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Yesterday the Welsh government decided to bring forward the post-Christmas lockdown and give everyone exactly an hour to do their Christmas shopping. I’m sure that squeezing the country’s entire population into TK Maxx in a mad dash for last-minute tat yesterday afternoon will help slow the spread.

It turns out London has hatched some kind of mutant ninja virus that is worse than the original one, and the Bastard English have already brought it here as they head to their second homes in their Porsche Cayennes and Range Rovers packed to the gills with hampers of Bollinger and foie gras.

So Xmas is off this year. At least the turkeys will be happy.

We’re allowed out to exercise, as long as it starts and finishes from home. Unless you’re disabled and can’t exercise from home, in which case you’re allowed to drive to somewhere suitable.

I imagined this had something to do with the limitations of wheelchair brakes on steep hills. But there were so many people parked up in the forest walking their dogs and their kids today that I have to conclude that there are far more people out there with hidden disabilities than I ever thought possible. I’m not a medical doctor, but my uninformed guess would be Cantfollowafewsimplerules Syndrome.

Oh yes, it’s back. Time for everyone to be holier-than-thou again.
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Mervyn Henderson  Identity Verified
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South of England Dec 20, 2020

They didn't say anything about Wales last night on the news, but plenty about London and around it. I had to explain "fruity tones" to the Basques when Boris came on the box telling us that, since the virus had changed its mode of attack, so they had to change their defence.

I saw him in the newspaper talking to Ursula von der Leyen, too - in one of the sitting rooms in 10 Downing Street, I think it was. They seemed to be getting on well, too, but I imagine when the photographers a
... See more
They didn't say anything about Wales last night on the news, but plenty about London and around it. I had to explain "fruity tones" to the Basques when Boris came on the box telling us that, since the virus had changed its mode of attack, so they had to change their defence.

I saw him in the newspaper talking to Ursula von der Leyen, too - in one of the sitting rooms in 10 Downing Street, I think it was. They seemed to be getting on well, too, but I imagine when the photographers and cameras left she had Boris kneel on the carpet to use as a pouffe for her feet while she had tea and crumpets.

Even though everyone's really putting their faith in these rush-job vaccines, there's still much caution exercised. We grabbed a drink at the tables outside a place on Saturday, having failed for the second time at the oyster place (I was right, the Dutch oysters are the most expensive, at 4 euros a shot), and we only got there because there was no queue in a kind of side-street, and people were just getting up to leave, and even then the waiter pointed at a Post-it stuck to the table announcing that "María" had booked that table for five people at 2.30. It was 2.10. María and her four friends still hadn't arrived by 2.50, when we left.

Today we had booked at a pizzeria, and the bloke outside doing the home deliveries got slated by the waitress for daring to come in without a face mask, and she gave me a dark look too for not having my mask on as we were waiting for our ravioli and spaghetti.

Decided to have a G&T afterwards at the Basque-Irish bar on the same street, where I was warned again for not using my mask to walk across the room to look at a poster. Sunday's high point came when I decided to have a pint of Guinness instead of a G&T, and - you know the way they sometimes put patterns in the white foam, a harp or whatever - the black stuff came with, I kid you not, a festive reindeer head pattern on it. I even took a photo, but as Chris said the other day, I don't think I can post it here.
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Tom in London
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B++++++s Dec 20, 2020

Chris S wrote:

It turns out London has hatched some kind of mutant ninja virus that is worse than the original one, and the Bastard English have already brought it here as they head to their second homes in their Porsche Cayennes and Range Rovers packed to the gills with hampers of Bollinger and foie gras.


London has the highest rate of child poverty of any English region.
There are 700,000 children – or 37 per cent of all children in London – living in relative poverty after you take housing costs into account.
While poverty rates are higher for everyone in London than nationally, this gap is larger for children than for any other group.
There are as many poor children in London as in all of Scotland and Wales.
43 per cent of children in inner London and 34 per cent of children in outer London are living in relative poverty, after you take housing costs into account.
Two thirds of children living in poverty in the UK are in working households, or where at least one adult is in work.


https://cpag.org.uk/child-poverty-london-facts


[Edited at 2020-12-20 17:46 GMT]


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Child poverty Dec 20, 2020

That takes me back, I must say. I was poor when I was a child too. I had no money at all until I started earning some by washing the dishes, mowing the lawn, painting the house and walking the dog, but my parents deducted all that retrospectively for my board and lodgings since day 1, and pointed out that as soon as I was old enough to do the likes of a newspaper round I'd have to chip in all my pay there too. I was 35 years old before I finally broke even. It should really have been at 32 or 33... See more
That takes me back, I must say. I was poor when I was a child too. I had no money at all until I started earning some by washing the dishes, mowing the lawn, painting the house and walking the dog, but my parents deducted all that retrospectively for my board and lodgings since day 1, and pointed out that as soon as I was old enough to do the likes of a newspaper round I'd have to chip in all my pay there too. I was 35 years old before I finally broke even. It should really have been at 32 or 33, but then they asked if I'd never heard of interest. They don't know they're born today.Collapse


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Chris S  Identity Verified
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??? Dec 20, 2020

What are you saying Tom?

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Poor statistics Dec 20, 2020

He's saying there are a lot of poor kids in Lunnan. I blame that Dick Whittington myself. And his cat. Stories like that make kids believe that the streets of Lunnan actually are paved with gold and that they'll become Lord Mayor too if they can just get there, so they leave Scotland and Wales for the Smoke, reducing the numbers of poor kids there and drastically upping them in Lunnan, and then of course there's only one opening for Lord Mayor, and they find that the streets aren't paved with go... See more
He's saying there are a lot of poor kids in Lunnan. I blame that Dick Whittington myself. And his cat. Stories like that make kids believe that the streets of Lunnan actually are paved with gold and that they'll become Lord Mayor too if they can just get there, so they leave Scotland and Wales for the Smoke, reducing the numbers of poor kids there and drastically upping them in Lunnan, and then of course there's only one opening for Lord Mayor, and they find that the streets aren't paved with gold after all, like Shane McGowan and others found out:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-45xNr-udU
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Chris S  Identity Verified
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Relevance Dec 20, 2020

OK, not what is Tom saying, but why is he saying it?

The child poverty stats seem a little irrelevant.

I could understand Tom saying, oi Chris, I missed your irony and I need to point out that not everyone in London has a posh motor and shops in Waitrose.

But what Tom actually seems to be implying is either (1) a high proportion of Londoners with second homes in Wales are people from below the poverty line, or (2) some un-PC connection between illegitimacy
... See more
OK, not what is Tom saying, but why is he saying it?

The child poverty stats seem a little irrelevant.

I could understand Tom saying, oi Chris, I missed your irony and I need to point out that not everyone in London has a posh motor and shops in Waitrose.

But what Tom actually seems to be implying is either (1) a high proportion of Londoners with second homes in Wales are people from below the poverty line, or (2) some un-PC connection between illegitimacy and poverty.

But this isn’t the frivolous thread...
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Matthias Brombach  Identity Verified
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To "make the weed grow below the noses"*: Dec 20, 2020

Mervyn Henderson wrote: Sunday's high point came when I decided to have a pint of Guinness instead of a G&T, and - you know the way they sometimes put patterns in the white foam, a harp or whatever - the black stuff came with, I kid you not, a festive reindeer head pattern on it. I even took a photo, but as Chris said the other day, I don't think I can post it here.


I believe you can:

Guiness

Source of picture: Mervyn Henderson
*Quote: Sadek_A

[Bearbeitet am 2020-12-20 18:27 GMT]


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Dig ... Dec 20, 2020

... that cosy sweater. Now that I hadn't noticed in the rather dark bar.

Thanks, Matthias!


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Chris S  Identity Verified
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Irony pt 2 Dec 20, 2020

Is that an ironic Guinness or do Irish people actually like the stuff?

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Mervyn Henderson  Identity Verified
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No irony Dec 20, 2020

Luvvit! Ever been in a bar in Dublin on a Friday night, with all those pints in varying degrees of readiness - the let-it-sit-for-a-minutes, the almost-theres, the three-quarters-fulls? Millions of drunkards can't all be wrong, shurely?

In my case, I think the last time I had one was in that very bar, and that was well before lockdown, so it was high time. And the sun was shining, so it was a Lovely Day for a Guinness, you might say.

But, even if I lived over there, I d
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Luvvit! Ever been in a bar in Dublin on a Friday night, with all those pints in varying degrees of readiness - the let-it-sit-for-a-minutes, the almost-theres, the three-quarters-fulls? Millions of drunkards can't all be wrong, shurely?

In my case, I think the last time I had one was in that very bar, and that was well before lockdown, so it was high time. And the sun was shining, so it was a Lovely Day for a Guinness, you might say.

But, even if I lived over there, I doubt I'd be the Guinness-only type. Too heavy to drink regularly.
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Chris S  Identity Verified
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Guinness Dec 20, 2020

We were too poor to drink Guinness when I was a young bastard growing up in London, outside Cockerneyland but definitely below the poverty line. The only thing on tap was water. And that was only at weekends.

When I was a teenager, though, my granddad would let me have a thimbleful of Guinness when he had his weekly half pint.

I didn’t mind it as long as I held my breath. I’ve never tried more than a thimbleful.

My grandmother used to buy me a Mars Bar
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We were too poor to drink Guinness when I was a young bastard growing up in London, outside Cockerneyland but definitely below the poverty line. The only thing on tap was water. And that was only at weekends.

When I was a teenager, though, my granddad would let me have a thimbleful of Guinness when he had his weekly half pint.

I didn’t mind it as long as I held my breath. I’ve never tried more than a thimbleful.

My grandmother used to buy me a Mars Bar sometimes too. It would live in the fridge with the dripping and I’d get a quarter at a time.

So I can’t complain.
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Chris's youth Dec 20, 2020

Class post, Chris! Especially that Mars Bar living in the fridge. You know, sometimes I start off believing it ...

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Daryo
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My slightly more informed guess would be Dec 21, 2020

Chris S wrote:

.... I’m not a medical doctor, but my uninformed guess would be Cantfollowafewsimplerules Syndrome.

Oh yes, it’s back. Time for everyone to be holier-than-thou again.


My slightly more informed guess would be that's a "FeedUpWithAnnoyingPointlessRules Syndrome" - a variation on the dichotomy "freedom fighter/terrorist" ... as usual, all depends on how you look at it or which parts you want to see or not to see.

As for the holier-than-thou brigade, they are going to have a field day again (or a week, or few months ...) no doubts about that!


 
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